Here it goes...

So here I sit in a hotel room in Orlando, Florida at 10:21 on a Monday night, awaiting my flight back home to California in the morning thinking "what am I gonna do now?" Alright, so obviously my dramatic opening sentence didn't make much sense since, well you dont know me, so let me give you some background on me and my life thus far. I'm not gonna do the WHOLE life story thing so I'll start a few years back, I had just gotten dumped by my boyfriend of two and a half years....on the same day my cat died. Yes folks it's true, you cant write better stuff than that. Since we lived together, that night i packed up my life and went back to my parents, definitley didn't think i would ever be back home again but hey everything happens for a reason. After my break up i went into the whole black hole of despair thing, you know, dont wanna eat, well in my case i ate enough for a small army, stayed in bed all day, didn't want to see or talk to anyone, hated the world, you know the normal post break up stuff. A few weeks had passed and i was finally up living among people again, and that's when i had an idea that would change my life forever. About 6 months before my dad had taken me on a trip to Disney world, I've always loved Disney and had been to Disneyland a billion times since I'm from California but it was my first trip to the world. on the last day of our trip i was in a gift shop in Epcot and a cast member came up to me and asked if i was from California, i said i was and she said she could tell by the way i dressed. we got to talking and she told me she was working at Disney through the Disney college program, i had no idea what that was so she explained it to me. she told me it was a program where you go to Disney world to work and live and party, i told her that the program sounded like a lot of fun but didn't think to much about it because well why would i leave my boyfriend to move across the country. So i went about my day and finished my vacation with my dad, so now fast forward to my thought that would change the course of my life forever. usually after bad break ups girls will go shopping, get a hair cut or hang out a lot with Ben and Jerry well i did all three of those things but since Ive always had a flair for the dramatics i wanted to do something big and bold, i wanted to move across the country and work at Disney world. now my family was super cool and supportive of my decision my dad and my brother thought it would be awesome for me to get out and live on my own and well my mom was my mom, she supported me but often asked me to go to Disneyland instead. i applied for the program, got in and was on my way to Florida. well my time in Florida was definitley the best time of my life, i made life long friends, gained independence and confidence and was happier than i had been in a long time. after my program ended i went back home and was back at Disney after only three months. so i started my second program in may and it was awesome i had the best roomie and the best job, awesome friends and i was having the time of my life. well what goes up must come down right? in august my mangers got a email saying that i was to be transferred immediately, i was transferred back to merchandise which i hated and the managers there hated me too. i was extremely stressed and work was miserable so it took me a while to decide but i ended up self terming because being there for another 4 months wouldn't be healthy for me. so thats why I'm here now at 11:39 waiting for a flight back home. now back to my question what am i gonna do now? I'm leaving my friends and support system all the things and people who make me happy I'm leaving my entire life and going back home to Sacramento, CA a place i associate with pain, heartache, sadness and struggle. So, whats a girl to do?? i dont have an answer and I'm unsure, but i guess this blog can be an outlet for me, somewhere where i can speak freely, somewhere where i can express myself, somewhere to vent. I dont know what my future holds and i dont know what is going to happen but all i can do is keep my head up and hold on to hope, cause in the end hope is all we have.