Just tie the noose a little tighter.....

so this is what my life has become, stuck in this god forsaken hell hole for who knows how long, i just wanna get out, i miss Orlando so much but with the way I'm feeling i dont even care where i end up just anywhere except here. like of course I'm gonna have a "unpleasant" attitude I HATE IT HERE!!!! maybe if I'm too unpleasant to live with they will send me somewhere else. I have a headache everyday, I've been eating more than ever, i feel stressed and anxious and unhappy obviously my behavior is a cry for help but it seems like no one is listening like i am screaming as loud as i can and no one can here me. i feel like I'm drowning and there is no way out i wanna rip my hair out and just lose control. this is probably the greatest test of my disease to try to keep everything together without completely falling apart. so, so what if I'm unpleasant or grumpy or angry or irritable i am trying to keep my life together with no help from no one so someone please give me a fucking break!!! sometimes i just wish i could go back back to when i was happy with friends and life and laughter and hope sometimes i do wish that but right now i just wish i could disappear.